Volatile

(Written by "Someone stop me before I write again!" Zarla)
(Note: I am not responsible fer any mental damage cause by readin this fic.)

There he was.
Walking along, humming some tune to himself, looking as if he had no care in the world. Black hair floating behind him from the ponytail, as if it had as much energy as it's owner. Large glasses shining brightly as they passed under each light. Feet scraping the floor at each step, causing the shuffling noise that made him so easy to identify.
Yes, it was easy to identify the Doc from the others. The Doc, for one thing, never hurt him. Directly. The Lady was always jabbing things into him and the Prof always was zapping him with something he didn't quite understand.
As it was, they had no real way to control his power...there was no such thing that could sense the psychic emissions and send some kind of retribution. He heard the Prof talk of something like that being created soon, but they just had to settle for plain, physical bonds. Bonds that had been treated with some kind of extract from some Parasect or something, rendering them impervious to psychic attacks. He didn't really get it, himself. He just knew he couldn't burn them off. Or pull them off. They were just there.
He stared at the thin line that ran from his wrists to the hand of the person who walked in front of him. He could never see the line itself...it never seemed visible to him nor his psychic reading, but he could see it as soon as it left his body. He could feel it, at least. It was pulled tight.
He turned his attention back to the doctor in front of him. He seemed so innocent, so carefree. It fascinated him. How could someone seem to be so innocent in this place? He never saw anything remotely like that in the Lady or the Prof. They just seemed cold. But the Doc seemed alive. More alive then anyone else.
More alive then him.
He could catch some of the words in what the Doc was singing.
"I believe in make-believe...Fairy tales and lucky charms and...I believe in promises...spoken as you cross your heart, oh...I believe in skies forever blue! Why shouldn't I believe the same in you?"
He couldn't identify the song. Songs were rare enough in the dark place, but this one seemed unusual for some reason. He could not place why it seemed to bother him. The Doc's voice was a soft sound, almost as if afraid that someone would hear but rising in volume as if wanting to be heard.
"You may even say I'm a fool....feeling the way that I do! You can call me Pollyanna, say I'm crazy as a loon, I believe in silver linings and that's why I believe in you!" The Doc's voice seemed to rise near the end, then drop as if realizing just how loud it was. Then it returned to the humming. The same tune, just without the words.
"That song's so like you..." he thought to himself. "Full of innocence and hope and energy..."
It almost seemed like the Doc had forgotten he was even there at points. Forgotten he was leading him back to his confinement down the halls. Forgotten the fact the only sound were his footsteps, because his ward never truly touched the ground.
Yes, he was envious. He tried to remember a time when he had that innocence, that brightness, that energy. He could not. This bothered him, as he felt that someone as old as he was, even though he wasn't that old at all, should have some kind of memory of that. But there wasn't one. Only the memory of the Doc, who seemed to be what he was always missing and had always wanted.
The Doc kept humming to himself, so carefree and happy. His hair kept floating behind him, almost close enough to touch.
"What song was that?" he finally asked, struggling to keep his accent under control. The Doc started, as if remembering that there was someone behind him. He turned around, smiling brightly. Did he ever stop smiling?
"I heard it once. Do you like it?"
"What's it mean?"
"I don't know..." He looked thoughtful. Even then he looked innocent. "I think I knew once, but I'm not sure now. I think Prof. Denka told me once, but I forgot..."
Another aspect of his personality. Never remembering anything...always living in the present. Another aspect of him that was desirable to him. "Did you write it down?"
The Doc smiled brightly, remembering. He lifted his right arm, looking at the scribbles on the sleeve. There weren't that many, but there seemed to be enough for him. He ran his finger over the fabric slowly, searching. He finally paused.
"It says "Nonsense". I guess he didn't think it meant anything...that's odd, I thought I remembered him saying something..." The Doc scratched his head.
"'S there more?"
"Oh yes. But I can't remember all of it..."
He noticed how much taller he was then the Doc. At his current height, he was at least six inches taller then the Doc. An aspect of him that was in his very genes. Something he would never be able to control. Just like the other aspects of him that were out of his control. He looked at his hands and looked at the innocent, youthful doctor in front of him.
Sudden anger surged through him. If he could not have that innocence, he had to get rid of it. Make it stop tormenting him. He had to stop it somehow...
"This's a little tight...could you loosen it a little?" He moved his hands, as if emphasizing the fact. The Doc looked doubtful for a moment.
"I don't know..." he blinked his large, brown eyes. "I don't think I'm supposed too..."
He marveled at how easy this would be, to take advantage of the Doc's innocence. "I think 'm losin' feelin' to my hands..."
"Well, I guess...just don't try to do anything, okay?" He walked over, working with what seemed like invisible knots to him. He waited patiently until the pressure on his wrists stopped. The Doctor pulled away slightly, now fighting with a visible string that had somehow managed to get tangled in his hands. "Oh...this always happens. How did he tell me how to do this...?"
No other chance but now.
He scanned the hallway swiftly. He noticed one of the sliding doors nearby, with a one of the touch-pads near it. He deduced what he would do while his innocent doctor struggled with the strands.
No other chance...
He swiftly wrapped an arm around the Doc's chest, ignoring the gasp of surprise. With equal speed, he dashed over the the touch-pad, grabbed the Doc's wrist, and pressed it to it. The door slid open, he slid in, and it slid shut.
"What are you doing...?" The Doc seemed frightened now. Good, he thought. There's one emotion I always felt that he never seemed to.
He grabbed the front of the Doc's shirt, lifting him easily off the ground.
"Okay, Doc..." he tried to think of something he could say to justify what he was doing. Whatever it was he WAS doing...he hadn't thought this far. The fear in the Doc's eyes was painfully clear and he could see the beginnings of tears forming.
"Don't hurt me please...just don't hurt me..."
A conflict began to rise within him. He both wanted to destroy that innocence....and now he wanted to protect it. He wasn't sure where it came from, perhaps memories of his own tear-laden plea for mercy, but it was strong. The two fought with eachother as the Doc watched him terrified.
He didn't want someone to suffer like he did.
He did want someone to suffer like he did.
Or did he...?
Frustrated at his indecision, he pushed the Doc off to one side and tried to think.
The Doc was clumsy by nature and slammed into a stack of boxes that was nearby. Something heavy fell from one and struck him in the leg, eliciting a sharp cry of pain.
That cry finally decided it for him. He hated the sound of something in pain...especially something that didn't deserve it.
He knelt near the doctor, noting how he frantically grabbed at the spot where he had been wounded and rocking back and forth.
"Can you move it?"
"Ooh....I don't think so...oh, it hurts...ow..." The Doc spoke softly to himself.
A foreign emotion made itself known within him. Guilt. This was joined by another emotion. Desire. He wanted this kind of life that the Doc led...free from the painful experiments and horrors that he experienced everyday. Free from everything. He wanted his body. He wanted his life.
Unknown desires seized him and he grabbed the Doc's wrist, noting the gasp that came from him. He studied the hand carefully, as if it were something new to him. The Doc just stared at him, confused.
"What are you doing...?"
He grabbed his other hand, looking at the two. He wished he could have these hands. To replace his own with these. He wished he could have everything. And at some subconscious level, he knew how he could do it. He wasn't sure how, but he felt it somewhere within him telling him how, even though he knew that it was only figuratively.
He grabbed his shoulders roughly, noting the next gasp of surprise. He noticed as the Doc turned his head away, as if expecting a strike of some kind. That bothered him...it was as if some part of his innocence had already been tainted. By him. He had to do something.
"Please..." The Doc whispered just once, but didn't say anymore. He wasn't sure whether it was because he didn't know what to say or because that was all he needed to say, but it didn't matter to him. He wasn't sure what he was doing. He closed his eyes.
He leaned forward, pressing his mouth to the Doc's.
He could feel him stiffen, as if with shock, then a momentary kind of struggle, as if trying to escape. It lasted for only a moment, as if accepting the fact it was useless. When he leaned back, he looked at the frightened brown eyes, surprised and unbelieving. Tears were falling down the Doc's face, from fear or surprise or joy or any other emotion he couldn't tell.
"Please..." he said again, not sure of what to say.
He felt the guilt rising within him again, but this was met with the sense of ownership. This gave him some kind of power over him...he wasn't sure why this was. It was something he didn't understand. The innocence remained, if anything more powerful then before. That was something unexpected. The Doc closed his eyes and let his tears fall, trying to rub at them from behind his glasses. "Please...don't hurt me..."
"I don't want to." He finally spoke. He mentally pondered the Doc's words as he stared at him, confused, tears still slowly making their way down his face.
He made a questioning noise, as if incapable of speech. Then he coughed gently and looked at him again. "Then what do you want?"
"I..." He wasn't sure how to express how he felt. "I...I want you. I want to be you."
"Why?" The Doc seemed hurt by this for some reason he didn't understand, and the flow of tears that had just began to slow quickened. He watched the tears fall, glimmering drops of water that splashed against his labcoat. Another aspect he didn't have. He knew from experience that his tears solidified after leaving his eyes, turned into hard crystals. He didn't understand why...but even this function made him different from everyone else.
"Yer alive, Doc. I want to be alive."
"You...you are alive." The Doc spoke haltingly.
He shook his head. "Not like you are, Doc. Not like you."
"What do you mean?"
"Yer innocent, Doc. Innocent and happy...and yer real. 'M not real...don't even have a name..."
"You don't want to be me. You don't want me." The Doc seemed to cry harder after saying this, rubbing at his eyes furiously. He looked away, as if realizing that he was crying.
He smiled at this, shaking his head slowly. "Sure I do. Yer everythin' I ever wanted. You have everythin' that I don't. I want everythin' you are."
The Doc apparently couldn't think of anything else to say, only giving a soft sob as a reply. More guilt rose within him. He didn't want him to cry...he didn't want him to be hurt. He reached out, grabbing his shoulders again, although this time with a gentler touch. It still elicited the same response though, a frightened gasp. He wished that didn't happen.
He held the Doc close to him, trying to calm him. The Doc, having decided that struggle was useless, didn't fight back. Instead he just kept crying, pressing his face into his chest. Wondering what else to do, he just waited.
"You don't want me." he finally could hear words through the soft muffled sobs. "No one does. No one should..."
"I do. Yer like a dream I used to have. Where I was human and real and free. Like you."
"Why are you doing this..."
He lifted the Doc's face until he was staring into his eyes, the large frightened tearful eyes, now shining with confusion.
"Dunno, really. I just want to be you."
"But you can't be me...you wouldn't want to." Tears kept making their way down his face, causing the black hair that was constantly in his face to become stuck to his skin.
"I know that...maybe if someone wanted me...then I wouldn't feel like this."
"Of course someone wants you."
"For research."
"I'm sure-"
"Doc, you want me, don't you?"
The Doc looked confused. "What do you mean?"
"I dunno...you seem so weak and innocent...you want me to protect you? 'M strong enough. Could take down anythin' that attacked or hurt you or anythin'."
The Doc leaned his head against his chest, not speaking for a few moments.
"Well...it would be nice to feel safe for once, I suppose..." his voice was small and frightened.
"'Kay then...'ll watch over you...but you got to promise me somethin'."
"What?"
"You got to promise me that you won't ever lose that innocence of yers, 'kay?"
"I don't know what you mean."
"That's what 'm talkin about."
After a few moments pause, he spoke again. It was the same small voice as before. "You really want me?"
"Sure." He lifted his face towards his again. "I said before, right?"
"I think you're alive."
Those words made him feel warm and needed, although he didn't understand why.
"Really?"
"Yes, I do. And I mean in the way you were referring to before. I think..."
"You don't know how much that means, Doc."
"I probably don't."
"'zactly."
The tears had finally stopped and the Doc's large eyes just stared at him from behind the glasses. The same urge that had risen in him before came over him again.
"Mind if I...?" He spoke awkwardly, feeling stupid for saying such a thing. The Doc seemed to study him for a moment, guessing at what he meant.
"If you want to, go ahead...I don't mind."
He kissed him again, noticing how he seemed to relax in his arms and go limp. He held it for a few moments, then broke it off. The Doc was staring at him again, smiling softly.
"It's really kind of nice."
"Really?" He smirked insolently. The Doc didn't seem to notice, only leaning his head against his chest and closing his eyes.
"Yeah..."
He tightened his grip around him in a small, affectionate hug and leaned back against the boxes behind him. The power of the emotions he had just felt swept over him, making him feel weary and worn out. Before he allowed himself to fall asleep, he reached within his mind for his power, extending it briefly to surround the room they were in. It would alert him if anyone approached, hopefully. If someone did find them, he would willingly say that he resisted. Anything to protect the Doc from any harm. He was under his care now...and he had to take care of that innocence that he so desperatly desired. He couldn't let it escape him, now that he was holding it in his hands and it belonged to him...and he belonged to it.
He could feel the Doc's heart beating against his chest...it was seemingly slowing down. He wondered just how fast it was beating before. Now that he thought about it, his own heart had been racing, but now was slowing down as well.
He gently took the end of the Doc's long ponytail and ran it between his fingers. As he had imagined, it was soft and smooth, somewhat like he imagined silk to feel, although he had never felt silk. But if he ever did, he imagined it would feel like this.
He felt the weariness coming over him. He wished that he had a name...some kind of name to help him identify who he was...but he didn't have one. Only a letter...as the number in the series. But there was nothing he could do about that. He couldn't give himself a name...could he?
He fell asleep, holding innocence in his arms.

The End

(Author's Note: Was that da most obscure and weird pairin ever or what? Talk about mixin opposites. ^_^o And I would assume this is before Cyrus was ordered to be killed. And of course, this doesn't fit inta Koinonayami in anyway...it's kinda like some kinda off fic that doesn't really go with da real series. A Fanfic about a fanfic that I wrote myself. ^_^o Oh well...I think they're kinda cute tagether, myself. ^_^ Dr. Dowasure is so cute. And just fer da record, da song he sings is "Pollyanna" from Earthbound. ^_^)

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