Tsukiyo mumbled something under her breath which caused Gekkani to laugh slightly. "Now, if only the demons would come back to get us out of here..."
"But..." Gekkani spoke in his own voice and touched Dowasure's shoulder gently, causing him to flinch and look up. Brown eyes met light blue. "Can...you say why...they attacked him...?"
Dowasure shuddered heavily and clutched his arms closer around his chest, wishing he could squeeze the memories and the experience from his body, wishing that he could forget but he knew he never could. He wished that it had never happened...
"He..." His voice was choked and soft, barely intelligible. "He..."
"Dowa-chan..." Tsukiyo's voice radiated concern.
"If it's too hard..."
He had to tell someone the truth...because if he didn't, no one would ever know...
"He....t...t-touched...me...."
Gekkani leaned back for a moment, blinking wildly, and Tsukiyo made a furious, raging sound and turned towards the wall, clenching her hand into a fist and slamming it into the wall with all her force.
"KYAAAAA!"
Dowasure could almost hear her bones breaking and it shocked him, causing him to sit up.
"Tsukiyo, don't!"
Tsukiyo had tears falling from her eyes, which seemed so out of place at the look of absolute perfect fury on her face. She stared at the wall which had a small dent in it as her work, not nearly as much as she probably wanted. She began shouting, her voice cracked and so uncontrolled it fluctuated rapidly from extreme to extreme.
Gekkani had hidden his face, but he spoke for her anyway. "That's not fair! Not fair! This shouldn't ever happen and it never should have happened to you, never ever ever! Not to someone like you, not to someone like you who's so innocent and trusting and now he's ruined you, ruined you for everyone else because we can see you shake when we touch you! You're afraid of something that we know you want and he has no right to take that from you! He has NO RIGHT!"
Tsukiyo kicked the wall with equal force, although her foot didn't suffer as badly as her hand. She was still screaming angrily at the top of her lungs.
"He has no RIGHT to think he owns you, no one ever owns you! No one can own you, Dowa-chan, but he's done it, he's done it, he's made you scared of something you should love and we know that he knew it too! GOD! Wish he would DIE!"
Dowasure ventured to speak softly, shocked at her reaction. In all the time after it had happened, no one had ever gotten angry for him. No one had ever been furious in his name, but Tsukiyo had the flowing, burning hate that he had hidden in his heart for the man and she wasn't afraid to show it. "He...did die..."
Tsukiyo kicked the wall with both her feet at every word, punctuating it with furious shrieks. Gekkani's voice rose in response to hers, although it didn't carry the furious anger that hers did.
"He didn't die slow enough!"
"Tsukiyo..." Dowasure wanted to tell her to calm down, but he found her anger soothing in the fact that someone was angry. It was a relief, a feeling of not being alone, and he wasn't sure he wanted to lose that. But he was worried that she would lose control completely and maybe hurt herself for him, and he didn't want that...."Tsukiyo, please calm down..."
"Dowa-chan!" She turned and grabbed his shoulders for a moment, staring directly into his eyes. He was too startled to think of being frightened. "Dowa-chan, there was something different about you...it's here." She touched her chest. "You're different, you're different because you refuse to follow everyone else...and you almost lost that because of someone who couldn't think of anyone other then themselves...it's...inexcusable! That's what it is! UNBELIEVABLE!"
She kicked at the wall again in fury. Dowasure stared at her helplessly, not sure of what he could do.
"Tsukiyo, don't hurt yourself, please..."
"He's right, Tsu." Gekkani touched her back softly. "He doesn't want you hurt..."
Tsukiyo turned towards Dowasure, her fury gone and replaced by sadness of such an extreme that Dowasure was taken back momentarily and felt an equal emptiness in his soul to hers, an equal feeling of justice not served. Clear drops of water ran from her eyes down the markings around them, shifting color until they touched her true skin and fell.
"Dowa-chan, you were the only one who would be friends with a fire...the only one who knew that it isn't dangerous...you're the only one who knows why this fire exists and why it burns, the only one since Jikei..." She sobbed for a moment, but bit it back savagely. "You're probably the best friend a fire ever had...for a long time...never ever, never ever want to see you hurt. Dowa-chan, no one should ever hurt you...it's not fair..."
"Tsukiyo..." Dowasure felt awkward. He had never expected this strong a reaction from her.
"You saved the fire from the all encompassing darkness and the loneliness...we're friends for life now..." Tsukiyo rubbed at her eyes uselessly.
"I know I could never be Jikei to you..." Dowasure held out a hand. "But I wish I could have met him. He made you what you are now, and I thank him for that..."
Tsukiyo stared at him with blank incomprehension, seemingly unable of understanding what he was saying. The sheer surprise on her face was enough to assert the fact for Dowasure that no one had ever said that to her before.
"Everytime...when we think you've said what no one else has...you surprise us..." Gekkani finally uncovered his eyes and stared at the two of them.
"Gekkani, I'm glad you're still alive...it doesn't matter to me that you tried to die or why...what matters is that you're here now..." Dowasure took his hand, which was so cold and smooth, and fought back the reactions in his body. He took Tsukiyo's hand, who's warmth never ceased to surprise him. "I'm so happy that I'm not alone here anymore...you're the only ones who have ever believed me..."
"You're..." Gekkani was staring at him quietly, silent disbelief flickering around his face. "You're the first person that hasn't hated...a...a kumori...for trying to die..."
"Dowa-chan..." Tsukiyo blinked at him, her eyes losing the moisture they were building and returning to their normal, sparkling appearance. She sang softly. "I don't believe that anybody...feels the way I do...about you now...because maybe...you're going to be the one that saves me..."
She then smiled and sang in a completly different tone. "Earth wind water and fire...can't get in the way when I'm running to you, cause I would ride through stormy weathers just to show you how much I love you..."
She seemed to perk up, but only slightly. Her voice seemed unnaturally high as she smiled painfully at Dowasure. "I love your eyes, I love your smile, I love your funky hair..."
Dowasure laughed slightly as she continued. "I love your walk, I love your talk, and the things you dare!"
She smiled at him again, changing her voice and pitch with such suddenness it made him jump.
"Ai no sekai no kaeru..."
"A love that changed the world..." Gekkani looked at her, then looked at Dowasure. He extended his mottled hand towards Tsukiyo, who put out her own flame-covered one and took hold of his authoritatively. Sitting in a small circle, the pain that had been revealed seemed to slowly fade away. Dowasure felt a peace enter him, pricking at the edge of the dark blackness around his heart and he almost felt safe, for once.
Then the orderlies returned.

~~~
Dowasure didn't see Tsukiyo for almost the entire rest of the day. He spoke with Gekkani about it, but he didn't know what happened either. His latest session with the doctor changed nothing, but it never had originally. They still refused to pronounce his name right under the thought that because he was a child, he was wrong, and it bothered him. He sat alone in his room, holding his stuffed rabbit close to him. That was the only thing that didn't garner the fear response that had been so deeply ingrained. He wasn't frightened of the rabbit because he knew it wouldn't hurt him. It wasn't alive. It couldn't hurt him, and thus he could be close to it.
Getting up slowly and putting the rabbit back in his bed, he let his feet gingerly touch the cold metal floor. It never failed to surprise him, and they didn't allow them shoes because they could be used as weapons...or so they said...
He walked to the window and stopped, putting his hands on the cold metal of the bars. The cold flooded through his hands at the touch of metal and he felt a brief burning sensation in response, something he never quite understood. The burning soon faded and all that was left was cold, and that much he could endure. He knew his own body heat would eventually make it easier to hold on to, just as the extended period of time his feet were on the floor made it easier to stand on. His heat helped the metal lose some of it's frigidity, and so he found it advantageous to usually stay still.
He kept his hands on the bars and stared outside at the dark, dead surroundings. It was nearing sundown, when they would soon be put to sleep, and he was worried for Tsukiyo. The last time they had taken her away, she was so weak she couldn't walk. He was worried that one time she wouldn't come back at all, and that frightened him. He felt his body shiver despite his best efforts at the possibility. Tsukiyo was one of his only friends...she was one of the few who believed what had happened...he couldn't lose her...he couldn't lose someone he loved again...not again...
Dowasure sighed and let his eyes stay on the dead, cracked tree that was near the corner of one of the walls. He could feel it giving up it's life, assured in the knowledge of it's own destruction. He felt sadness rise in his heart again at the thought.
A small flash of color caught his attention near one of the walls. For a moment it looked like a bright splotch of green, but when he looked fully, all he saw was a fluttering collection of colors he knew to be a butterfly.
Not sure of what he was doing, he let his hands go through the gap between the bars, letting his arms rest on the cold metal beneath. Another shock went through him and he felt the hairs on his body rising, but he ignored it. He let his hand fall near the wall, not moving, hoping...
The butterfly moved towards him as if he had been it's destination the entire time and slowly rested on his hand, it's small legs clinging to it's fingers. It slowly fluttered it's wings, opening and closing them slower and slower until it finally settled.
Dowasure felt tears rising into his eyes and he could not explain why. The delicate beauty of the butterfly that had chosen to rest on him, of all places, reminded him of how much he believed he didn't deserve it. The butterfly waved it's antennae slowly in the wind and he stared at it, unbelieving. No insect had ever stayed on him for any long period of time, much less the beautiful ones such as butterflies or moths. Now one was sitting on his hand, so brightly colored that to compare it to his surroundings would be enough to blind. It was strange, to feel it's tiny legs finding the grooves that made his fingerprints and clinging so tightly, so tightly as if Dowasure was it's last bastion of safety in the world.
He coughed slightly, worried that the insect would flutter away, but it only closed it's wings in response to the noise. He found his voice small and thin, yet with a strain of hope he hadn't heard in a long time.
"If you can come in here..."
The butterfly opened it's wings, showing again a bright flash of color.
"Then I can come out..."
THe butterfly crawled further up his hand, sitting at the joint of his thumb near his wrist, opening and closing it's wings constantly. He watched it and found there was nothing in the world he would want more then the insect to stay, to stay with him, to stay and remind him that there was beauty in the world, when everything seemed so cold and dark.
He felt it's wings growing in speed and slowly the butterfly lifted itself away from his skin, moving upwards until it hovered near his face, it's wings beating so quickly it was hard to see the individual colors. He stared at it, feeling a tear fall down his face as the butterfly flew away, ducking high and low at such random intervals, as if looking for something, then finally disappearing over the wall. He wanted to cry, to scream, to wonder why such beauty had to leave him, but he knew better...he knew better.

~~~
Tsukiyo returned when he was curled in his bed, asleep. He heard the door open and close and the thud of a body being thrown inside and he sat awake instantly, staring wildly around for a moment and crying involuntarily, remnants of the nightmare he had been having still within his mind. He could spot her brightly colored hair on the floor, flickering as she twitched, trying to move. The moonlight from the one window also illuminated her figure, which now looked pitifully small and weak.
"Tsukiyo..."
He walked across the cold floor, kneeling beside her as he had before. Tsukiyo turned her head towards him, her face still almost obscured by the cloud of fire that hung in front of it.
"Dowa-chan...'tashi no tomodachi..."
"Tsukiyo, c'mon, I'll help you get to bed..."
He lifted her off the floor, finding her surprisingly light and still surprisingly warm. He forced himself to put her arm around his shoulders, ignoring his shivering response, and she leaned on him while he walked with her, her feet refusing to move.
She smiled at him. "Tomodachi..."
Dowasure didn't know what she was saying, but he nodded anyway, and she sounded pleased. She began singing again softly.
"I want to go to a land beyond dreams...where everything's new...not really what it seems..."
Dowasure nodded again, his heart beating so quickly he thought it would burst. Worry and sadness for the torment that Tsukiyo seemed to constantly be in made his chest hurt.
She changed her tone again, this time singing with an almost bright, airy tone, the best she could manage.
"Aiyaiyai, I'm your little butterfly..."
Dowasure stopped instantly, staring at her and feeling tears well up in his eyes at the memory of the butterfly that had, for that precious moment, made him feel so wanted.
"Green, black, and blue making colors in the sky..."
"Tsukiyo...how...?" Dowasure couldn't believe that she knew what he had seen...that was the only explanation he could think of...how else could she have known about the butterfly...?
"I've been searching for a man all across Japan...just to find, to find my samurai...someone is strong, but still a little shy...yes I need, I need my samurai..."
Dowasure led her to her own bed, where as soon as he stopped supporting her, she just fell against the bed, not moving except for her bright green eyes, which were still focused on him.
"Tsukiyo, I wish this didn't have to happen to you..." Dowasure could almost feel the pain hiding behind her eyes. She blinked and put her arms over her face, her voice muffled. The words she was singing sounded...as if she was adding a japanese accent unintentionally...as if she only knew japanese and was trying to sing english...
"I can see you wonder, just like always you do...I know you get under your aching sad fire..."Everybody's in vain", you're whispering yourself...You're in trap again that's, no, you don't wanna be..."
She uncovered her face and looked at him.
"Follow your own heart even though naive, Get ready to start. I truly believe...Taking modesty never ever helps you...Having honesty leads to the way to go..."
She reached out her hand and took his in her own, her voice growing slightly in power, but far from her normal exuberance.
"Don't be afraid of failing in the game...You don't want to care for the name....Don't worry being alone in the dark...For any where, for any time..."
She blinked at him and for a moment he thought he saw something sparkle near her eyes.
"You will find me by you..."
She let his hands go and he immediately began rubbing them together as the cold air assaulted them. She fell on her side and continued staring at him.
"Remember technicolor dream once we had...As we keep it deeply yet still alive...So we hold it tightly yet still in time...We can make it come true with our soul! Let's head up toward the Sun in the sky...It's long overdue to spread wings to fly! We are brave it out with our own pride..."
She turned her head away from him and closed her eyes. "Give a reason for life over again..."
He watched her as she went to sleep, then headed back to his own bed, not sure of what to make of her words.