Kenshin

(By "And now fer somethin completly different" Zarla)
(Note: I am not responsible fer any mental damage caused by readin this fic.)

Cyrus was depressed again.
Drak could never quite figure out why. Cyrus generally spent time around their house, lazing about on the couch or living room, with his eyes half-closed and never speaking to anyone. It was as if someone had sapped all his strength, but Drak was not used to Cyrus acting like this. Cyrus also was spending more time at the house then he usually did, and had in fact stayed the last few nights there. Drak wondered whether if secretly Cyrus wanted to stay in the house, but never wanted to embarass himself by asking. Either way, Cyrus was deeply depressed and that much was fairly obvious to everyone. No one else could even get close to Cyrus other then Drak, so they left the strange creature up to him.
Cyrus had taken up residence un-officially in the living room on the couch, so Drak headed there first. It was his favorite time of night, the very late hours after midnight. He loved this part of night the best. So he hoped that Cyrus would be awake.
He was. He was reclined completly on the couch, his hair dangling over the side. It reminded Drak of how Cyrus was situated during one of their previous mental conversations.
"Cyrus..." Drak knew what response this would get, but it never failed to amuse him.
"@#%@!" Cyrus rolled off the couch in surprise. He angrily tried to push himself back upwards, but hit his head on the underside of the table. He swore angrily for a few moments. Drak smiled to himself. He sat down on the couch, waiting for Cyrus to calm down enough to sit next to him.
"You never learn, do you?" He smirked. Cyrus glared at him with his odd eyes.
"God, kid, don't you ever get tired of givin' me #$^#in' heart- attacks?!"
"Not so loud. There are people asleep, you know."
"So what do you want?" Cyrus was extremely irritable, now leaning back on the couch so he took up whatever remaining space there was. Drak didn't move.
"I'm here to find out why you're depressed."
"@$^@ you." Cyrus remarked in an off-handed way. Drak crossed his arms.
"I'm serious."
"I SAID @$^@ you." Cyrus spoke in the same tone as before. Drak couldn't help but smile.
"What's wrong? Did something happen? Someone try and catch you again?"
"...yeah."
Drak had not expected to be right and was silent for a few moments until he could speak again. "What?"
"Some $#^@in' loser tried to @#%$in' catch me, okay?" Cyrus raised his head upwards again, glaring at Drak. Drak was confused.
"Why should that bother you so much?"
"I dunno, kid..." Cyrus leaned his head back over the armrest. "Maybe...maybe 'cause when they figure out 'm part-Pokémon, th' human part don't matter. Maybe 'cause it reminds me I can never be real, like you..."
"It didn't bother you this much before, did it?"
"No, it didn't." Cyrus' voice remained annoyed.
"So why would it bother you so much now?"
"Maybe 'cause I want to be human more 'n ever now."
"Why?"
Cyrus was speaking without thinking. "So I can be equal to you." He then realized what he was saying, then swore for a few moments. "I didn't mean that..."
"You feel inferior to me?" Drak pointed to himself. Cyrus sighed and sat upright.
"Fine, yes. Yes I do. Happy now?"
"Why? Why on earth would you-"
"One, yer human." Cyrus raised one finger. "Two, you got friends." He raised another one. "Three, someone loves you an' vice versa-"
"Slow down." Drak raised his hand. "Do I really make you feel so bad?"
"Sure, kid." Cyrus sighed, putting his arms on his knees and sighing. "Can't help it, really, 's just kind of been gettin' to me..."
"Then why don't you just leave me alone?"
"I can't." Cyrus spoke quickly. He paused for a moment, as if reflecting on what he was saying, then looked directly into Drak's eyes.
"Why not?"
"Yer th'...yer th' only person I know left. Only person I care about, really."
Drak shook his head slowly. "Sometimes I'm surprised you care about anyone."
"I know..." Cyrus buried his head in his arms. "'M a jerk...a @#$%in' jerk...I don't deserve to be half-human..."
"I didn't mean it like that." Drak felt terrible for sending Cyrus deeper into his depression. He put a hand on his shoulder. "I was joking."
"'S not a joke." Cyrus' sulky voice was muffled. "'M not even human...why do I try an' act like one..."
"You're half human, Cyrus, and that's more then enough. And it's your feelings that make you human, I told you before."
"How do feelings make you human?" Cyrus said angrily, refusing to look up.
"Well, humans feel like you do right now. They feel confused, they feel hate and love and all sorts of other emotions."
"So do Pokémon."
"You're not comparing yourself to Pokémon, Cyrus, you're claiming that you're some kind of unfeeling monster. You can't be, because you feel and think the way humans do."
"I feel wrong." Cyrus mumbled. Drak paused.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"M'feelin's are all wrong."
"They can't be wrong."
"Heh...you don't know how wrong they are."
"Cyrus, whatever you're feeling can't be wrong. Is that what's bothering you? You feel like you feel wrong?"
"I DO feel wrong, kid." Cyrus's voice was angry again. "No one feels like me at all. 'S all wrong."
"Well, how DO you feel?"
There was a long pause. Drak continued staring at Cyrus, but he didn't move.
"Cyrus? How do you feel?"
Cyrus refused to answer. Drak noticed something fall onto the couch cushion and onto the floor. It was a small crystal.
"Cyrus, don't cry."
"I don't need you tellin' me what th' @$^@ to do!" Cyrus looked up angrily, his face red with embarassment or anger, Drak couldn't tell. Drak watched as moisture built in Cyrus' eyes, then as soon as it touched his flesh solidified into a small crystal. "You shouldn't be tellin' me anythin'."
"Cyrus, I'm your friend and I care about you. I don't want you to cry or feel sad. I want to help you."
"You can't help me." Cyrus mumbled resentfully.
"If you tell me what's wrong, then I can help you."
"..." Cyrus looked off to one side. "You can't help me 'cause yer what's wrong."
Drak blinked. "I'M what's wrong?"
"Yeah, you, kid. Yer th' one makin' me feel all wrong." Cyrus glared at him. Drak was more confused then ever.
"What do you mean?"
Cyrus sighed deeply, his momentary lapse of control over. His eyes were dry. "Kid, 'fore I met you, I didn't give a @#^@ 'bout anyone. An' no one gave a @#^% 'bout me. But now...you make things all complicated, kid, an' 'm feelin' stuff that I never felt before an' 's freakin' th' #$@# out of me."
"You never cared about ANYone?"
"Who would I care about?" Cyrus laughed harshly to himself. "Th' Prof? He only cared about results. Th' Lady? Don't get me started. Th' Doc? Please, he's a @#%#in' moron. I didn't even know th' slave kid existed 'fore you showed him to me. Only people I know are th' ones back at th' lab an' th' ones who tried to catch me. An' you."
"It bothers you to care about someone?" Drak was unfamiliar with this concept, but at some level understood what he was feeling. Cyrus kept his eyes off to one side.
"I ain't used to it, kid. An' besides...it just makes thin's harder for everyone."
"It shouldn't do that." Drak put his hand back on Cyrus' shoulder, expecting him to flinch from his touch. He didn't. "When you care about someone, it should make things easier."
"Not when you care this much..."
Drak paused. "What are you saying?"
"I dunno, kid..." Cyrus sighed, exasperated. "Look, forget I said anythin'. I need a drink. You got some here?"
"No." Drak said firmly, putting pressure on Cyrus who was trying to rise off the couch. "You aren't going to hide behind alchohol now. What did you say and what did you mean?"
Cyrus glared at him. "I don't hide."
"Yes you do. You drink to hide from the world so you don't have to deal with it or understand it."
"You know what?" Cyrus spoke with hatred. "@^@$ you. I don't know why I even care. 'M out of here."
"No you're not!" Drak pushed Cyrus roughly against the couch. Cyrus was still physically weak, his main power was within his mind, so it was no effort for Drak to control him like this. "You're not running this time, not from me or from anyone. You're going to tell me what's wrong."
Cyrus glared at him, breathing angrily. "Let go of me."
"No."
Cyrus struggled momentarily, but knew this was useless. Drak wondered mentally why Cyrus didn't bolster his weak physical body with his mental powers, but couldn't find an explanation. "Fine...I'll tell you."
"Good." Drak sat back, staring at him carefully in case he try to escape while he removed his hands. Cyrus didn't move, however.
"I feel bad 'cause 'm goin' to ruin everythin' for you."
"What?"
Cyrus sighed again. "I don't want to hurt you, kid...but I know that if I keep..." Cyrus tried to find a correct word, but in the end gave up. "I'll just make everythin' bad for you."
"How? How could you make things bad for me?"
"I make thin's complicated, kid. An' they'll just get worse."
"What is it your feeling that makes things so difficult? What could possibly be so wrong?" Drak was frustrated at what he felt was a dead- end conversation. Cyrus looked incredibly awkward.
"...kid..."
"I'm waiting." Drak crossed his arms.
"I...'m sorry."
"For what?" Drak kept the angry edge in his voice.
"No...no, I can't tell you. You'd never understand..." Cyrus stood from the couch, closing his eyes. Drak, thinking he was trying to escape, tried to push him back down. Cyrus didn't expect this, tried to turn in time to ward him off, and the mixture of motion resulted in them both on the floor. Cyrus looked at Drak from his position underneath him.
"Tell me."
Cyrus closed his eyes. Drak could see a small crystal fall to the carpet. It wasn't a true tear, but it was close. "You'll hate me for it, kid..."
"I don't care." Drak was really frustrated now. He ignored the obvious pain and indecision on Cyrus' face.
"'M sorry..."
"Stop whining and tell me what's wrong!" Drak shook Cyrus roughly, causing him to give a small cry of surprise. "This isn't like you, Cyrus. You're stronger then this."
Cyrus kept his eyes closed. "I ain't strong, 'm weak, 'cause..."
"What? What? Tell me." Drak was running out of patience quickly. Cyrus didn't open his eyes.
"'M weak 'cause I @#%@in' fell 'n love with you, kid." Cyrus said quickly. "'M weak an' 'm @#$% stupid."
Drak stared at Cyrus for a few seconds. "You aren't serious, are you?"
"'M dead serious. See? This's what I was talkin' about. I'd just make thin's complicated."
"How in the world..." Drak shook his head back and forth slowly. "Why?"
"Kid, yer th' only one who ever cared about me. Everyone else doesn't give a @$%$ if I die. But you do...you got me out of th' lab, even tho' it was dangerous..."
"Cyrus..."
"'M jus' not used t'people carin' 'bout me, kid." Cyrus' words were running together at an alarming rate. "I didn't want you t'leave...I got too attached t'you...I cared 'bout you 'cause you cared 'bout me, an' I guess I jus' got too attached...went too far..."
"Cyrus, do you have any idea what you're saying?" Drak couldn't believe what he was hearing. Cyrus' eyes opened slowly, the pupiless pools of blue-purple. Crystals were falling from them and building into a small pile near his face.
"I don't believe it m'self, kid...'s @%$# stupid...y'already got yer girl, what's her face..."
"Ella E."
"But I jus' couldn't stop m'self...'m weak...an' I shouldn't feel like this...'s wrong..."
"So that's why you were depressed." Drak stared into his eyes steadily. "You want me as more then a friend."
"God, kid, jus' let me go..." Cyrus' voice was filled with pain. He tried for a moment to escape, but Drak was holding his wrists. "I don't wanta' be here anymore..."
"You're trying to run away again." Drak was not bothered by Cyrus' pathetic attempts to escape him. He wasn't truly trying. "You never deal with your problems. You always have to run away from them."
"Fine, I don't care." Cyrus' voice taking a distraught tone. "I run all th' time, 'cause I don't have anywhere else t'go. Anywhere t'stop. Happy now?"
"No, I'm anything but happy." Drak sighed. "This was anything but what I expected."
"I ruined it for you, didn't I? Told you." Cyrus closed his eyes again. "Told you I'd jus' make thin's all complicated."
"I must admit this does complicate things..." Drak watched the small crystals fall from Cyrus' eyes. "But..."
"What?"
"Cyrus, have you ever thought about yourself? I mean, seriously thought about it. You're getting torn up over these emotions your feeling because you think they're wrong. How old did you say you were?"
"Three." Cyrus automatically answered.
"No wonder you're so confused. Your emotions are incredibly strong now, but your mind is trying to rationalize it and can't."
"Kid..." Cyrus didn't seem happy with this.
"Listen, I'm going upstairs." Drak released Cyrus, standing smoothly. It took him a moment, but Cyrus finally realized he was free. Instead of standing, however, he only leaned upwards, using his arms as a support. He stared at Drak in confusion. "Stay down here and try and sort this out with yourself. That's the only way to solve this."
"Yer leavin'?" Cyrus' voice was almost frightened. Drak didn't notice, walking towards the door.
"I can't help you with this. This is something you have to do yourself."
Drak heard something behind him move quickly. Before he knew what happened, Cyrus had tackled him from behind. Sitting on his back, Cyrus sounded more angry then Drak had ever heard him.
"@$^$ you, you #$^#in' insensitive @$@#%#$! I had t'deal with m'self all m'life an' look where I am now! If anythin', I DON'T need t'be by m'self now!"
"Cyrus, get off me."
Cyrus stood angrily, glaring at Drak with fury. Drak stood and brushed himself off, pretending not to be surprised by Cyrus' outburst, although in truth Drak was mentally shocked. He crossed his arms, meeting Cyrus' glare for a few moments. Then Cyrus' angry stare seemed to fade into a sad, frightened look that Drak only had the privilege of seeing a few times.
"Y'don't care 'bout me at all, d'you?"
Although Drak was angry, these words struck something within him. He softened his look, realizing that Cyrus was vulnerable and frightened at the moment, much as he had been after his experience with Dr. Kagakusha. Drak moved back to the couch, sitting down on it slowly.
"Cyrus, I do care about you."
Cyrus sat down next to him, looking off to one side as he had often before.
"Really?" He sounded relieved.
"Yes. I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just..."
"I told you this'd happen...I told you that I'd jus' make thin's worse..."
"Cyrus, listen. You don't make things worse, despite all that you think." Drak sighed. "It's just that your feelings are confused..."
"I told you I felt wrong."
"You don't necessarily feel wrong, Cyrus." Drak looked at him. "You just don't understand what you're feeling."
"#$^@ that." Cyrus crossed his arms. "I know what 'm feelin'."
Drak sighed, making as if to leave the couch. "I should go..."
Cyrus' thin fingers wrapped around his arm. "Don't go, please, kid."
"Are you really that frightened?" Drak could interpret the tone in his voice.
Cyrus paused for a moment. "Jus' lonely."
Drak turned towards him. "Am I really your only friend?"
"Friend? @$^@, yer th' only person I know. That doesn't hurt me, anyway."
"Cyrus, you shouldn't have gotten so attached to me."
"I said b'fore. It jus' happened. I didn't want it to."
Drak shook his head back and forth slowly, putting a hand in his black hair. "Cyrus, I have to go back upstairs."
"Don't go." The pleading tone in Cyrus' voice was painfully evident. Drak sighed.
"Listen, I have to-"
Cyrus seemed to have almost supernatural speed when he wanted to. Within seconds he held Drak to him, burying his face in his chest.
"God, yer such a @#$%in' jerk..." Cyrus sobbed fully. "You make me so confused...I don't know who I am anymore 'round you..."
Drak was unsure of what to do. He smoothed down Cyrus' hair in an effort to calm him down. "Shh, it's okay. You just need to sleep and think it over."
"I don't need t'@#^%in' think it over!" Cyrus said angrily. "I jus' need YOU..."
"Cyrus..."
"Stay with me...please, jus' for t'night." Cyrus looked up at him, a crystal falling to hit Drak shirt. "'Til I go t'sleep...can't you jus' stay here?"
Drak sighed, not sure of any other way to calm Cyrus down. He put his arms around him, lifting him upwards so he was almost sitting in his lap. He rested Cyrus' head against his chest. Cyrus sniffed softly, wrapping his arms around Drak's chest.
"I'm only staying until you fall asleep, okay?"
"I don't care..."
Drak sighed again. Cyrus was silent for a few moments. Drak looked out the window, seeing the sky lightening slightly. Dawn was still a good way off, but the preliminary light was showing. There were a few clouds hanging in the sky, blending in with the sky except for their underbellies, lit by the first rays of the sun that were just appearing. Drak appreciated the beauty...it was one of the few reasons that he enjoyed the night better then the day. He believed that sunrises were much more impressive then sunsets.
While he was staring out the window, Cyrus gently nuzzled his chest. He was obviously trying to enjoy this moment as much as possible before it disappeared forever. Drak stared down at him, as if expecting an explanation, but didn't get one. He returned his gaze back to the window, trying to ignore Cyrus to the best of his ability, although he was being incredibly distracting.
"@#$% you...Y'don't know how important y'are t'me..." Cyrus mumbled softly. Drak looked back down at him, but Cyrus didn't say anymore. After some gentle shaking, Drak discovered that Cyrus had fallen asleep. Carefully, Drak edged out from beneath Cyrus, laying him back down on the couch. He slept quietly, a crystal caught in his hair. Drak sighed softly and pulled it out, placing it on the ground with the other pile.
"Apparently not..." he whispered. "Good night, Cyrus."
With deep feelings of regret and guilt he left the room. He wasn't sure why he felt so bad...he had done the right thing...hadn't he? He looked back at Cyrus, curled on the couch, on hand dangling off the edge, his eyes closed. His emotional pain over. Drak sighed again.
"You were right..." he looked at Cyrus' sleeping form. "You did make things more complicated."
With that, he slowly shut the door to the room, heading back to where he had been sleeping before, ignoring the first rays of dawn that came through the windows as he headed upstairs.

The End...

(Author's Note: Boy, was that depressin or what. ^_^o I feel bad fer Cyrus now. He really did love Drak, but his feelings weren't returned. How sad! At least with Dr. Dowasure he got somethin back. ^_^o And he was definitly da dominate force. Here he's quite submissive. ^_^o Still...they are kinda cute tagether, inna weird way. ^_^)

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