Dewgong: Hi! It's me...Dewgong!
Me: And co-host, Zarla! ::flashes peace sign::
Dewgong: We're here taday ta help teach YA, da reader, how ta dive da Dewgong way!
Me: That's right!
Dewgong: First of all, let me stress...Location Location Location! Never try ta dive in a overcrowded area!
Swimmin inna over crowded pool is bad fer yer form, hazardous, and plus no one is payin attention while yer doin it!
Me: Good point.
Dewgong: Try ta find a place with some swimmers...but not TOO crowded.
Me: So ya have room, AND a audience!
Dewgong: That's right!
Me: Yes indeedy!
Dewgong: Anyway, as I was saying. Another good thing ta do ta prepare is get in shape! Totin weights around is a good way ta build yer fin muscles.
Dewgong: Strength is very important. Ya couldn't move around if yer fins were flabby.
Dewgong: Next, find someplace high...preferably where ya can get some attention!
Me: Attention is key!
Dewgong: Now, form is also incredibly important. Without form, it looks like yer doin a bellyflop.
Me: Which, I may add, is also very painful. Form is key!
Dewgong: Anyway, try ta arch yer back as ya jump, and spread yer fins ta yer sides, tryin ta achieve that graceful look.
Dewgong: Yeah. Fins. What else are ya gonna show off?
Me: Uh...some of us don't have fins. Me fer example.
Dewgong: Shh...this is my show! Yer ruinin it!
Dewgong: Anyway, after ya splash down, go ahead and bow, and take a much deserved rest! Be sure no one else mistakes ya fer a pillow or nothin, another reason ta work out.
Me: Now, da splash down...
Dewgong: Ah yes! Da splash down! Very important! At da peak of yer jump, straighten yer back, and press yer fins...
Me: ::mutters:: there's those fins again...
Dewgong: Anyway, Press yer fins flat against yer body, so ya go in smoothly.
Also make sure ta dive in deep water...most peeps don't appreciate it when ya crack their floor.
Me: Crack their floor?
Dewgong: With yer horn. If yer going to fast in shallow water, yer horn slams inta da floor. It's very costly ta repair.
Me: Has it happened ta ya often?
Me: Some of us don't have horns, Dewgong.
Me: Some of us don't have fins either.
Me: So couldn't we translate this so it's easier fer HUMANS?
Dewgong: What a pointless thought!
Me: Uh...of course. This has been Diving with Dewgong...
Dewgong: Hosted by me!
Me: and Co-hosted by me! See ya next time!
(Zarla and Dewgong are not responsible fer any injuries or thoughts during this show. If ya hurt yerself, it's yer own fault. Don't try ta sue us. We got lawyers man.)
Anyway, fer those who wanna know more about out host...
Dewgong(87) evolves from Seel(86) at lvl.34. It's a Water/Ice type Pokémon.
Dewgong should know these attacks when it evolves.
After it Evolves, it learns
Aurora Beam at lvl. 35
Rest at lvl. 44
Take Down at lvl. 50
and Ice Beam at lvl. 56.
Thank ya, and goodnight!
And as a added bonus, we have a picture from da upcoming Pokémon Stadium-
Dewgong: Which will be entirely about ME.
Me: No it won't. All 151 are in it.
Dewgong: No they're not. Just me.
Me: Yes they are. Why do ya think that?
Dewgong: Cause of that pic! Look! Just me! Aren't I graceful?
Me: Uh...Hoo boy, I won't even try to explain...