Dr.   Dowasure

omg clipboardDr. Dowasure is a scientist who works at the PGRI. He has brown eyes and long black hair that he keeps in a ponytail. He normally wears blue jeans and a purple shirt underneath a smudged and dirty grey labcoat. The right sleeve of his labcoat is covered with drawings and notes, and the pockets are filled with small bits of paper and random things that he picks up. He's very near-sighted and is left handed. He also wears a large deep purple sweatshirt and a necklace with two heart earrings on it on occasion.

Perhaps Dr. Dowasure's most defining feature is his memory or rather, lack thereof. Dr. Dowasure's short-term memory is extremely poor, and for that matter his long-term memory isn't much better. At times he's forgotten his own name, his address, his entire past, his face, where he is, what he's doing, and what he's saying. He's lost track of sentences two words in. He's unable to follow long strings of conversations. He can't follow directions to any location, and is no better with verbal commands or directions either. If it isn't written down, it's more than likely out of his head seconds after it entered.

Dr. Dowasure was an orphan at an early age and it's unknown who his real parents were. He was adopted when he was three by who he considers to be his real mother and father. They always referred to him by a nickname, Dowasure (to forget for a moment), a word they picked up in Japanese on their various business travels. This has become his only real name. He can't remember his first name, but if pressed, he'll borrow someone else's then forget about it again. In all likelihood, for his driver's license and other social papers, he may have resorted to John, since it was one of the most generic names he's aware of.

His parents died in a car crash when he was ten and custody of Dowasure shifted to his uncle. He learned quickly to become self-sufficient due to necessity. However, this process involved a great deal of strict displine on his uncle's part, and in the face of it Dr. Dowasure lost the self-confidence he was beginning to cultivate. This was the beginning of a long spiral of self-hatred that Dr. Dowasure never got out of. As his life progressed, he became only more convinced that he was worthless as a human being. He was quick to admit his own faults and mistakes and rarely, if ever, stood up for himself, not to his uncle and his cousin or to anyone.

While he was staying at his uncle's house, a friend of his uncle's sexually molested him. This is not the core or source of his self-hatred and doubt, but it is a major contributor.

One night when his uncle's friend came in to Dowasure's room, two creatures were waiting for him. They tore him apart, literally, and Dowasure took the blame. He was sent to a mental institution because his stories that demons had slain the man were not believed. He was eleven.

While there, Dowasure's spiral downwards only deepened. He became paranoid and distrusting of all adults and eventually, all other people in one way or another. He hated himself for what happened and blamed himself for it entirely, believing that if he had simply done something, anything, fought back in the slightest way, it could have been prevented. But he didn't know what he should have done, only that he did it wrong, and this only made it worse.

At this point, Dowasure met Tsukiyo, who was one of Dowasure's first friends. She was one of the few interpersonal connections that Dowasure ever made that didn't end up in him getting hurt somehow.

Tsukiyo found and named Gekkani, who became Dowasure's second friend. These relationships were vital to him. He was able to talk to them without the fear of rejection, and when the other children would mock or tease Dowasure, they stood up for him. This is something that he still remembers.

Tsukiyo and Gekkani were the only people Dowasure ever told about what happened to him, and are the only people he will ever tell. Roxette, Centre of the Heart

One day Tsukiyo did not come back. No one knows why. Perhaps she was discharged, or something happened to her. Whatever the reason, she vanished without a goodbye. Dowasure and Gekkani eventually found their escape courtesy of Tsukiyo's older role model, GK, who took them both in. Dowasure learned a lot of things at this period, but his self-hatred continued to grow.

Even if he couldn't remember what happened, couldn't remember the act of being molested unless specifically prompted in one way or another, the fear, the doubt, the nausea and guilt and hatred that he felt made sure its effects never left him. This confusion did not help.

Dowasure managed to make it with GK's help, despite his lack of formal education, through the tests that were required of him and got accepted into college. While his memory was a handicap and a serious one, Gk had given him various methods on how to pass classes, tests, the shortcuts through busy work, and Dowasure was a rather bright child when it came down to it. It was mostly GK's decision that Dowasure pursued the path he did, as otherwise he had no direction. GK is the reason that Dowasure has as much motive and drive as he does, otherwise he'd be too hopeless and frightened to even attempt at a normal life. GK kept with him until Dowasure kept his doctorate, and then he cut him loose. Eventually Dowasure found his way to the PGRI.

The reason that he was able to overcome the gaps in his memory during this period is because of routine. Dowasure could not remember details, but if the routine was repeated enough times, he would do it without thinking. At this point, he didn't question orders or assignments and did what he was told, and in this way he easily passed through the educational system while truly learning nothing. If asked, Dowasure can remember nothing of his graduation, his years at college, his decision of his major, the lease of his apartment, how he earned his driver's license, how his taxes continue to get paid, how he had applied for and somehow got the job at the PGRI. These are mindless routines droned into him, patterns set by others (primarily GK) long ago that he can't explain anymore.

Although he had grown into a adult male, his mind never fully matured along with his body. At this new facility, this attitude continually enfuriated his colleagues. His childish behavior and inability to remember things lead to his general dislike among the others at the facility, which didn't help Dowasure's self-esteem problem.

Despite everything that he had done, it was never enough.

Dr. Dowasure also has a knack for injuring himself. He is terribly clumsy and often falls, trips, or knocks things over. At the PGRI, this was particularly hazardous. He's constantly getting cleaned up and taken care of by people more responsible than him, the majority of it done by Prof. Denka. This was how the two originally came into contact, and Dowasure, who had longed for a father figure since his own had passed away so long ago, immediately attached himself to Denka, who was able to provide that kind of support. Hair Swirly

Prof. Denka took this in stride and took care of Dowasure, something he actually also wanted to do. They had a healthy relationship going, something Dowasure had very few of, until Dr. Kagakusha stepped in. She hated Dowasure's incompetence and forgetfulness, his percieved lack of care and attention. She was the first person to actually strike Dowasure in anger after he ruined a particularly important experiment she was working on with his constant questions. This shattered the trust that Dowasure had tentatively gained for the other scientists in the facility and it never fully recovered. Denka managed to take care of him and to some extent soothe him, but Dowasure was and is still frightened and scared. He never thought someone would do that to him, particularly a colleague.

Eventually, Kagakusha convinced Denka that Dowasure had to be punished when he forgot things so as to remove the problematic behavior, and if he wouldn't do it, she would. Denka was caught in a difficult place. He couldn't allow Kagakusha to hurt Dowasure, since she had a tendency to go overboard as with Teishi. That meant he had to take on that role to protect him. Dowasure, unaware of all this, did not expect anything from him until Denka gave him the first real lecture. Denka couldn't bear to hurt him physically, so he resorted to verbal tactics.

If there was anyone in the world that Dowasure was beginning to trust, it was Denka. This incongruence in his behavior is a great source of inner conflict for Dowasure, who can't reconcile the kind Denka with the lecturing one. Contrary to Namida's beliefs, the punishment did not help Dowasure's memory problem. It only made it worse. The stress was enough to rip the feeble remains of Dowasure's confidence to shreds.

Dr. Dowasure is a frightened skittish person. His memory allows him to forget things that just happened to him and his past, therefore giving him the happy exterior he usually has. But it's extremely easy to push Dowasure past that and he becomes a sobbing nervous wreck. The easiest way to break through Dr. Dowasure's happy exterior is to try to initiate any kind of close personal contact. Dowasure never had a chance to process what happened to him as a child, and as a result, the pain there has grown and distorted, turned into something that he doesn't consciously recognize. Like a defense mechanism, when approached in any kind of way that could be construed as sexual, even familiar, Dowasure pulls back violently and with intense terror. Touching other people and, more so, being touched by other people, fills him with a nameless horrifying dread that he has no idea how to overcome. He has lived with it so long it almost doesn't seem unusual, and to him, it has protected him from others ever since. It's worked.

His deep fear of interpersonal contact makes developing a relationship with Dowasure intensely difficult. To be able to even begin to touch him in any way, a deep trust has to be formed at first. While Dowasure can be naive and gullible, the one area of his life that he is relatively fierce about protecting is his personal life. He may exchange pleasantries, believe what his colleagues say, but he will not and does not allow anyone close enough to him to ever even present the threat.

The only person in his life who came close to that kind of place was Prof. Denka. Just when Dowasure trusted Denka to perhaps touch him, outside of a medical perspective, Denka hurt him through his lectures. His attempt to reach out in whatever way was cruelly, to him, rebuffed. It is extremely unlikely that he will ever try again.

To overcome Dowasure's phobia of interpersonal contact, a deep bond of trust must be formed. Mutual is up for debate, as it seems obvious that Dowasure trusted Denka more than Denka trusted him. Without that trust, the slightest touch, the brush against his cheek, the lingering fingers on his back, is enough to send him into a hysterical panic. His phobia of touch is all-consuming and powerful, and no matter how happy he may seem at first, to touch him is to shatter that illusion completely and horribly, for both parties.

Dr. Dowasure fears his own body in many ways. He's never been in any kind of romantic or sexual relationship with anyone throughout his life. He's scared of sex and everything related to it. He's easily flustered and embarrassed and any kind of sexual innuendo makes him extremely uncomfortable and frightened. Flirting with Dowasure inspires terror. Lewd jokes tend to fly over his head. Throughout his life, Dowasure has perhaps unconsciously striven to avoid anything related to sex or relationships other than familial. As a result of this, Dr. Dowasure knows next-to-nothing about sex in any way or form. Love for him is completely divorced from sex or any kind of physical contact with another person. Dowasure does not love people he fears.

Dowasure can't handle pressure at all and collapses under the lightest of punishments. He cries easily and without a great deal of shame. He's terrified of almost everything, his worst fear that of being alone, and he believes that he really serves no real purpose. The other scientists keep what they actually do from him, so Dowasure is kept in a constant state of ignorance while they take his work. He's given busy work to keep him occupied, which he has yet to suspect. From a Calvin and Hobbes Strip

Dr. Dowasure does not understand what happened to Teishi and doesn't suspect his colleagues in any way of being responsible for the boy. Namida has managed to keep any evidence of her constant abuse of Teishi from him, so Dowasure is constantly kept in the dark. Denka continues to try to father Dowasure in an effort to protect and embolden him, but it's almost beyond hope. When Dowasure is happy, he truly is happy, but it never lasts for long.

He doesn't know what really happened to Cyrus or why Cyrus hates him.

Dr. Dowasure is no threat to anyone, and he's extremely easy to abuse and take advantage of. He's easily manipulated, even more easily threatened, and will almost never stand up for himself. His only protection comes in the form of others who care too much about him to let him come to harm.

Dr. Dowasure has been in Koinonayami, Nightmare, Get a Clue!, The Rocky Horror Pokémon Genetics Research Institute, We wish you a merry #$@%IN' CHRISTMAS, Volatile, A Poofmas Carol, Strands, Hikaru no Ashita, Taiken, 'S A $%^#in' Strange World Out There, and Clothes Make The Man.

Dr. Dowasure has been mentioned in Kenshin, Obediance, Desperate Times, and others.

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